I have been following the Twitter account @shitscaredmum for some time. The account is run by a woman whose daughter, Laura, died of brain cancer. The account chronicled Laura’s slow descent into terminal cancer, from her sports interests to her bucket list to her final days.
I am grateful for this experience for many reasons. First, it allowed me to see firsthand the utter heartbreak and tragedy that accompanies premature death from cancer. This is an experience that people who are not directly affected by such tragedy seldom get to experience.
Second, I am grateful because it created a legendary figure in Laura. Her story is one of courage, determination, and hope. It is a story that I can refer to when my own petty grievances get in the way.
As the saying goes, “The man with a boil on his neck feels little for the starving people in Ethiopia.” We are all preoccupied with our own crises of living, and we often fail to see the heroic in the world. However, by reading @shitscaredmum’s account, I was able to share in the moments of hope, the small victories, and the humor in Laura’s story.
Gratitude is not just a courtesy, like saying “thank you.” It is an active emotion that compels us to do things to make others feel better. It is not about settling for less than we deserve, but about recognizing and appreciating the good in our lives.
It’s been variously described as – when something so magnificent happens to you through the causation of others, one feels compelled, spontaneously and reflexively, to cause that feeling of profound wonder at the grace of it all, of the amazement that you should be chosen to be in the throes of it, in others.
Gratitude is an action – we instinctively do things to make others feel better, or joyous, or relieved.
Gratitude is not ‘settling”, compromising, or taking second-best because you think that’s all you deserve.
Gratitude is an exercise in reorientating to the present moment, its looking around you and counting out the positives in your environment, in your sensory perception, and in your awareness.
It studiously avoids doing this in reflection on the negatives, in reference to the “yes buts”.
It is an inventory of the “good stock” that you may go forward with, the negatives you will leave behind.
@shitscaredmum is now campaigning for change and funds for research into glioblastoma, a type of brain cancer. I encourage you to visit her Twitter account and learn more about her story. Her journey has enriched the lives of thousands of people, and it can enrich yours as well.
The Zen of Gratitude
